I feel as though I question myself alot, am I ready to let go? am I ready to get a new job? am I ready to commit to a relationship? am I ready to do anything at all? Is there ever a good time? Should I wait for it or should I just jump in and see if I sink or swim?
If you have read my previous blogs you will know that since November I've been training to become an EFL teacher, EFL is "English as a Foreign Language. I decided to do the course to enable me to eventually achieve my dream of living in Italy. I completed the course in April and ever since I have been looking for some voluntary experience, last week I was asked whether I was available to do some work over the summer at the English Language Centre in York. The first feeling I had was excitement and then I suddenly thought, hold on, am I ready to be given a class to teach? Apprehensive and a bit scared I popped along and met the person who helps run the school, turns out we met a few years ago and ended up having a bit of a catch up like old friends! I felt more at ease knowing that I knew someone but still wasn't quite sure if I was ready to be thrown in as a teacher.
I spoke to some friends about it and I was absolutely overwhelmed by the support I was given. Lots of encouraging words like "Hannah i'm so proud of you for doing this" "You'll be fine, you have a great character and personality you will do a great job" "They have faith in you, so use their faith to give you confidence" "you've got to start somewhere, and if it doesn't work out its not because you didn't try" - all of these things are absolutely 100% true and so what if I don't feel ready? If I can swim through this I'll be a few steps closer to Italy and my little dream.
Fear is a horrible emotion which I feel too much and combating the fear of the unknown is the only way to achieve what you set out to do. I'll be so nervous on my first day I will probably want to throw up, but getting past that first hurdle will be an achievement in itself.
Everything that I have wanted to happen for the last year has finally happened within the last 2 weeks and I feel as though I don't have the right to be sad, feel stressed or be unhappy because of "Fear" so I am looking at this as an opportunity to prove my myself that I can do this. I hope that any fears you have about taking steps to achieve your dreams will be helped by reading this or even just the following quotes.
"A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice." - Edgar Watson Howe - Country Town Sayings (1911)
"Fear is an affirmation of your growth because it proves that you are risking." Rhonda Britten
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
xx
